Hey beautiful people, welcome back to another blog post and based on the title you know it’s going to be interesting. Have you ever heard the phrase you need to lower your standards/expectations, or you need to raise your standards/expectations? (Reminds me of a damn if you do, damn if you don’t moment). I’m here to shed some thoughts on it and who knows it may get some of you thinking in a different way. I was talking to a few coworkers, and we spoke about dating, what you like, what you don’t, relationships, and basically what’s a capital No for you and after sharing somethings they agree that I may have high standards/expectations! (This is the moment where my blog family speaks out and says no way lol). I was quite shocked because I never personally weigh in on my standards before and accessed that it’s too high or too low. I think they are fully obtainable. Better yet I know they are fully obtainable for the right one.
So, by now I know I have your attention because you want to know what I said. I’ll share with you one and feel free to share some of yours below in the comments. I’m not willing to date anyone who says there not looking for a relationship or suggest we just go with the flow. Disclaimer: I know some people may argue this and say some great relationships started with let’s just go with the flow, but it doesn’t work for everyone. Also, you shouldn’t have to submit yourself to anyone even if you really like them if your true desire is to be in a fully committed relationships and there’s is not. (Please stop talking or attempting to bait someone in a circumstance that doesn’t match there wants. Your wants (within reason) are your wants and that’s point, blank period. If your standards are to be courted properly and have a gentleman open your doors in order to date you then don’t allow anyone else to tell you that’s too much because the right man will. Men if your standards are a woman who carry herself classy in or out of your sight, first find a woman who share that sentiment and second hold firm to it because the right woman will come along already doing it. Honestly, it’s not that standards are too high or low it’s just that people often get with others that don’t share some of the same sentiments and then expect to change or morph that person into someone there not or unwilling to be.
Please know this is only in regard to someone’s dating or connection standard I’m speaking of and not someone’s physical standard or expectation. I can’t advise you on that because everyone likes is so different and that’s there like. The problems we have start at communication and leans into having a backbone. You can’t be soft spoken/weak/or intimidated about dating you and what you’re looking for. Please don’t be harsh or critique full but just stand on your standards and don’t bow out or take a half fulfilled yes because of others. Be intentional on what you need and most importantly listen in on what others needs as well. We don’t want to ignore what others need because through paying attention to them were able to see if this is right and if it aligns with the direction you’re going.
Whew I know this post was a little longer, but I feel like I’ll need to do a part 2 because it was so good, and I have so much more to share on this topic. If you guys would like a part 2 to this, please let me know below. I definitely feel for some of you, you may need a written example of my backbone scenario and if you do, drop comment below so I can write part 2.
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Sista 2 Sister 